Thanks, Rinse btw

how did the CaT DO THAT i honest dont no i was sittin there mindin my busness readin the tv and then SUDDENLY IT HAPENED it was LIKE a SOUND but also like a THING it HIT ME in the SOUL. THE meow it wasnt even a MEOW it was a full body evvent like the cat opened a portal in its THROTE and screamed the name of god backwards. i jumped so hard i spilt my beans but i wasnt even EATING beans I HAVENT HAD BEANS IN 3 DAYS. THE SOUND bent my SPOON i looked at the spoon after and it was doin a CURL like a gym man. the cat just SAT THERE like it did nuffin WRONG but I SAW it LOOKED at me with eyes FULL OF KNOWING. MARTHA CAME IN and sed DID YOU FALL and i sed no the cat made the noise and she sed cats dont do that and i sed WELL THIS ONE DID martha. she left and i herd her sayin a prayer in the hall. my neghbor pEtE texted me and sed is ur house okay the windows jiggled and then he sent a second text with just the word “cat???” he KNOWS. i tried to call 911 but my phone did the BIG LETTERS and called my cousin ernie by accidnt and now hes coming over with a CROSS and some HAM. my DOG ran into the DRYER and now we cant open it bcuz he LOCKED IT from the INSIDE he’s been in there 2 hours just barkin slow like a ghost. the ceiling fan wont STOP SPINNING and its not even plugged in i checked i got up and checked and now my hip hurts but it was worth it. THE MEOW WAS SO LOUD I SAW COLORS THAT DONT EXIST the news came on and said a weather balloon exploded BUT I KNOW IT WAS THE CAT. the sound made my knee CRACK like bubblewrap i think my skeleton moved. my SOUP turned to FOAM the microwave won’t close anymore the basement light FLICKERS every time the cat breathes he knows what he did. the earth paused i felt it the BIRDS STOPPED the mailman FELL OVER. i went outside and the sky looked scared. please if ANYONE knows why or how the cat do that i need an answer i can’t sleep i cant cook my egg and my tv shows are too quiet now everything too quiet im afriad to blink in case he meows again. i THINK HE’S WINDING UP. HE JUST WENT “MRR” AND I SCREAMED INTO MY SHOE. send help or at least a scientist or a old priest and a young one. the cat is vibrating and i think he just LOOKED INTO TIME

it’s almost as if the countries with most immigrants from down south are the least safe, what do you know

he's based

wtf is his problem?

but then you also have MonteNEGRO

What do Croatia, Slovenia, and Iceland have very few of?

2028 The American Party wins the election

This one in particular I think is pretty funny.